introduction

hello there!

i am neurodivergent. i have a history of incredibly fucked up personal and family trauma. i have invisible disabilities, some of which have official diagnoses and some don't (yet). and i am very angry much of the time, usually due to someone or something creating undue hardship for other humans. my intention for this space is to write out, for lack of a better phrase, "my truths" as i understand them at 39 years old.

i've considered starting a blog at many times in my life, like many other people. partly because i enjoy writing, partly because it's a popular hobby, and partly because it's a potential way of making money. like many other people, i've wrestled with the idea of writing for nobody, or remembering to make regular content, or trying to "build my brand." i'm going to shake off all those demons now and just do something i've wanted to do for awhile now: write.

why now? well, i guess it's mainly two reasons. the first is that i find myself, on this particular day and at this particular point in time, with a lot of free time. i've taken an extended time away from work to let my central nervous system relax for the first time in months. unfortunately, it hasn't truly relaxed, for reasons i'll get into in other articles, but it has largely settled down from the state it was in before i went on leave. the second reason is that i have done a lot of introspection and self-examination over the years, and i think what i have gotten out of that is something worth sharing with the world.

i have, in the past, written post and comments on various websites that have gotten replies from people that more or less equate to "i never thought of it that way before." it is more or less my hope to utilize unvarnished discussions of trauma and mental illness to evoke that same response in you. this is, of course, something i cannot guarantee; i'm simply telling you why i'm writing, and why i'm asking you to read.

i am going to leave a ko-fi link on this page. if you did, in fact, get something out of my writing, a dollar or two would be greatly appreciated.